


What I Needed It To Be

by sierrajo



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 11:13:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sierrajo/pseuds/sierrajo





	What I Needed It To Be

"Why are you trying so desperately to get back? Don't you like this new flesh that I have made for you?" 

The woman with the eyepatch mocked a frown and slide her door back into place. My hands shot towards the door that was no longer there. I looked down. My two hands had turned blue from the ink. I rubbed the ink over the wall and a few splinters of fading wood managed their way into my skin. When I looked down again my hands had new strikes slashed in with blue ink. I let my fingers follow me as I made my way to the window. The scenery beyond the pane flooded my eyes with many shades of violets and maroons and turquoises. As squeezed my eyelids together I could feel the grass sprouting beneath my feet. When I let my eyes open again I found that the many shades of violets and maroons and turquoises were even more beautiful up close. The touch of the velvety flowers on my splintered skin seemed to wash the blue ink away, but when I looked down once more I found four more slashes on my right forearm just below the sleeve of my shirt. 

I walked over to the pale white bench beneath the dark maroon flowers. The supporting beams were painted the same color as the wooden bench. I blew some paint chips to the ground. The woman with the eyepatch opened her door again, this time placing it in the golden sky.

"Don't seem so disappointed. Isn't this what you asked for? A new world? Greater opportunities?"

I found two more marks curled around my pinky. She looked at me closely before she slid the sky behind her. Her expression, though, stuck in my memory. She looked like she had expected so much more of me. I tried to brush it off but I could feel the imprint of blue ink leaving three more tallies beneath my lip.

I walked around the garden searching for a new image. Finding nothing, I decided to go back into the creaking brown house. I looked through the third window from the right on the seventh floor, focusing on the stairwell behind it. I closed my eyes real tight and once again, I could feel the grass sprouts leave me behind beneath my toes. They were soon replaced with a worn wood floor. It screeched under my weight as I moved up the stairs. The walls were bare and lined in dust. My two fingers felt the pattern of the wood and I let the dust cake the tips as well. A blue line etched the skin on my calf and as I felt it I could feel my loathing for that woman with the eyepatch rising up from my gut. I found two more blue scratches on my knees.

I don't know how long I had climbed the staircase, but it must have been a while, because whenever I finally found a big blue chair to rest in, I fell asleep. 

-

"I woke up feeling the sand spurting out from between my toes and a warm sun on my face. I stretched my aching bones on the big blue chair. My worn hands found the dark mahogany that had been detailed into the chair relaxing, but when I stood and my hands left the surface, it had gone. Only to be replaced by the sound of crashing big blue waves. I turned just in time to watch them respire back into the sea. I didn't realize I had started walking until I felt the sprawling sand turn into the tides beneath my the soles of my feet. I kept walking until I was completely submersed. Under the water, I could see the sands of a different shore, one with light blue water and little girls in pink dresses. If I could keep walking forward, maybe I could reach this new shore. Maybe if I closed my eyes I could find my toes in that beach's sand. I could feel the water's current slowly die, but when I opened my eyes, I only found my self in the white room again with the eyepatched woman.

"You know you can't do that. You make me worried when you try to leave."

Her expression went from to apprehensive to forgiving. But I had offered no apologies. She slid back her door with a wink to reveal a dull picture. Within it there were desks and a chalkboard. The picture's room only had one window on it's plaster white walls. But I knew I had no other choice in the matter. I closed my eyes and felt the linoleum form beneath my feet. The room was cold and bright. Outside the window was nothing but the sky. I touched the glass with my pale blue hands and found a another mark wrapped around my thumb. I looked around the room once more, making my final decision. I focused on one particularly fluffy cloud just beyond the pane and closed my eyes. I felt a sharp wind whip me onto the crusty gray wall. When I opened my eyes, there was nothing beneath me but my body acted as if there was. The door snapped open to reveal the woman with the eyepatch.

"You'll have to try better than that."

Suddenly, I became furious. I ran towards her with all my might, but as she snapped the door shut again, I realized there was nothing around me but the sky. I was trapped. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and a whole cluster of strikes staining blue ink on my back. I held myself, my knees, and all my tally marks. I closed my eyes and felt the tears and tallies come in a storm.

-

I awoke on the beach again. I tried walking in the water, but it had become more shallow than it was last time. I turned my back to the water facing the palm trees. There was nothing but them and sand covering my horizon. I noticed a red hammock between two trees. I looked delicately at the rope holding it together. The eyepatched woman must have known what I was doing because a framed picture dropped out of the sky at just that moment. Entrapped in the delicate glass was a city, complete with skyscrapers glittering in the sky and stop lights shining on the wet sidewalks. I closed my eyes and felt the sand whisk away to leave a new layer of rainy sidewalk. I looked at the glowing streets. Their emptiness left a hole in the town, but holes were always popping up where the eyepatched woman was concerned. There were huge poster boards hanging from the shining buildings, but they too, were empty.

I looked up at the skyscrapers and compared their heights. The one with the large needle seemed to be reach further than the rest. I focused on the highest window and closed my eyes real tight. Inside the window, the room was completely bare, as if it's designer hadn't expected anyone to notice the inside. I heard her door creak open behind me onto one of the white walls. She looked at me as if she didn't know whether to be scared or laugh at me.

"It'll never work."

She didn't sound so sure herself.

I looked out of the window and focused on a patch of sky, soon to be my patch of sky. The woman tried to reach out of her door, but found that the restraints she had for me where now working against her. I laid down on the cold white floor and closed my eyes. For a little while I could feel the winds rush past me, but when I opened my eyes, I fell and I fell and I didn't stop falling until I reached the wet glistening concrete.

I tried focusing on the beach. The beach with light blue waters and girls in pink dresses. I tried making it come closer to me. I tried feeling it's sand beneath my feet. _I tried._

\---

The Woman with The Eyepatch finished The One's grave. The Woman with The Eyepatch place The One's grave where The One stopped falling. The One's epitaph reads

"Hail Hail the bravest of them all  
The One who answers when She may call  
Hail Hail the loneliest of us all  
The One who may stand to stop the fall"  



End file.
